Mommy Brain

I don’t remember ordering a lobotomy to go with my c-section, but it seems that they gave me the 2-for-1 special, anyway. My brain seems to have gone AWOL since the little guy was born- that, or it quit it’s job and I lost the letter of resignation in that pile of unsorted papers on the dining room table.

Now I’m certainly not claiming that I was a genius before I got pregnant- I’ve had more than my share of not-so-bright moments, and math in any form has always been a little beyond me. But I’m not taking about normal memory lapses here. I’m talking about those "what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-oh-my-gosh-I’m-losing- my-mind" moments (or let’s be honest, days) that generally mean one of two things: advances senility, or motherhood.

Last week after I made a cup of tea, I put the sugar bowl in the fridge. That was fine, but it was a bit harder to explain the next day how the milk got into the pantry. I lose the car keys, I lose the camera, I lose the glass of water I was drinking 30 seconds ago. I baby talk to my poor husband. I sing and dance to TV commercials. I answer the door in my pyjamas. Nearly every day I let the dog out and then forget that he exists until the cat yells for me to let "his" dog in. But that could happen to anyone, right?

It didn’t occur to me that I had actually lost my mind until the night that I lost the little man’s diaper. He was lying on the bathroom floor, fresh from the tub, waving his sweet smelling little hands and feet in the air. I reached for the diaper that I had laid out with his little footie jammies (see what I mean about the baby talk?)... And it was gone. There was the bum cream, open and waiting... and the baby lotion... there were his jammies... but no diaper. Yes, I know I could have gone and got another one, but I REMEMBERED putting this one out. Quite clearly, in fact. I looked on the counter, under the towels, behind the toilet, even in the tub- nothing. I was ready to go check the pantry when I looked down at my laughing baby- who was happily patting the diaper I’d already put on him. It was clear that I needed a nap. Or a stiff drink. Maybe both.

At least I know I’m not alone in this. "Mommy Brain" seems to be almost as common as mommyhood itself, and there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot we can do about it. Is it caused by hormones? Possibly. Lack of sleep? Probably. Being distracted every waking moment by the little bundle we've brought into the world? Definitely. Too bad none of them are things we can do anything about as long as we have children. But there is an upside to all of this, I guess: everyone knows that crazy mommies are way more fun than sane ones!