Britney Copied Me

OK, anyone who knows me personally has already heard me bitch about this. I’m sorry, but it pissed me off just a little when I was pregnant. You know how every woman who gets pregnant wants to be the centre of the universe for a little while? Some get to do it publicly (many of you also heard my rant several years ago about how Celine Dion apparently thought she was the ONLY woman to have ever squeezed one out), but most of us just enjoy this special time with those people who are closest to us, knowing that the child growing within us is undoubtedly the most special one ever conceived. It’s our right as pregnant chicks. I was thrilled (if also terrified) when I found out I was pregnant. Imagine my shock when not long after, tabloid headlines in supermarkets everywhere started screaming that BRITNEY IS PREGNANT!!! (Bold letters and exclamation marks standard).

What the hell?!! Britney was SO copying me! It was a joke I shared with a few people, as in "Oh, she’s such a me wannabe!" as if the fallen Pop Tart was closely following the goings-on in the life of a middle-class retail worker in Canada. As time passed, though, the tabloids informed me of too many similarities for me to think that it really was just coincidence:

-Britney was having a boy. I found out that we were having a boy WAY before she did, or at
least before the news leaked to the press. TOTALLY copying me.

-Britney had a caesarean section. Now, one could argue that having a boy was not strictly copying me, if you buy into the argument that she didn’t choose the sex of her baby. Fine. But after I had my emergency c-section, I learned that Brit (I now felt that we were close enough to refer to one another informally) was going to have a PLANNED c-section. Some might have said she was just "too posh to push". I knew the truth- she was trying to be like me.

-She gave the baby an uncommon name. Not the same name as we chose (thank the Lord!), but one that's equally uncommon. We chose Simon- a good, strong name, but not one you hear every day. She chose Preston. Sean Preston, to be exact, but still. Work with me here, people. On a related note: Earlier in Britney’s pregnancy, I heard that she was thinking of a name for a baby girl that we had talked about OVER A YEAR EARLIER. Still think I’m paranoid?

-And the last straw: A few months after my baby boy was born, I took him on a trip to Ontario to visit my family. The hubby had to stay home because he couldn’t take the time off work. So what does Mrs. Federline do? She takes her baby boy home to Louisiana for a visit, and leaves her husband at home. Folks, this goes way beyond coincidence. The woman is obviously stalking me.


You’ve seen the evidence. Now, I’m not trying to say that everything she does is copying me- I’ve never gone into a gas station bathroom bare-footed, and I haven’t taken the dive into trailer trash couture yet (though we looked at a lovely mobile home a few weeks ago...). But come on... it’s a little suspicious, don’t you think?

All joking aside, I wish Ms. Spears all the best, and hope she's enjoying her little guy as much as I am mine. We might be from different countries, different backgrounds and from slightly different income levels, but we've got the best thing of all in common- we've got sweet little bundles to love. And I'm not even going to be mad at her for that one.