Friends

If you read parenting magazines, you've probably noticed several common themes: potty training, bed sharing and whether it's still appropriate when the child in question is fifteen, and discipline (or lack thereof). And there's always a page or two devoted to the trials and tribulations of being a parent, including the lack of privacy, lack of sex life, lack of... well, you get the idea. The one that always worries me is the lack of friends issue. OK, not lack of friends, exactly, but the changes that friendships go through when one friend has a baby.

I've never had a lot of friends. I had a good group in high school that I hung out with, and my dorm-mates at university were an amazing group... but I've managed to lose touch with all but a special few of those people as our lives changed and went in different directions. I might as well be honest- I had lost touch with every one of my high school friends before we went back for our graduation ceremony in the fall. It's not that I don't care about my friends- I really do. I just don't notice how much time passes between letters or phone calls, and then I'm too embarassed to call and say, "hey, remember me?" I'm also not much good at meeting people. I'm shy, I'm generally a lousy conversationalist, at least until I get to know you. Then you can't shut me up.

That's why the idea of losing the friends I DO have is so worrisome. The magazines tell me that we're living in different worlds, now. I'll annoy my friends by talking incessantly about my baby, and they won't understand why I don't have time for partying... hang on. I never had time for partying. Well THAT'S a relief, anyway! Actually, I don't think it's a problem I need to worry about right now. Here's why:

I have great friends.

I'm not trying to suck up to anyone, this is just what's on my mind today. Mr. Cranky Pants and I went to the mall yesterday with a friend who (insert dramatic music here) doesn't have kids. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last. Little Mister makes shopping trips difficult, but my friend (heck, lets call her "Jenn") just goes with it. Have to go back to the little room at Sears to breastfeed? Sure, meet you back here in twenty minutes. Want a cup of tea, but the line at Tim Horton's stretches down the escalator and out the door? No problem, I'll stay here with the little guy. You get the idea. So yesterday I got adult conversation AND I got out of the house. It was great! Last week "Jenn" and her husband (hmm, what to call him?... "Chris" sounds good) invited me over for dinner while Mr. Me was at work. The food was amazing. The company was better. The baby was... crying. Not exactly an ideal accompaniment to a nice meal. But they've never made us feel bad about having to leave the table during a meal- heck, they offer to do it for us. Like I said, I have great friends. They love our boy, even when he's being a Cranky Pants. They go out of their way to get me out of the house and into adult company. That just doesn't sound to me like those friends the magazines talk about!

I've been blessed with friends here in town and half a country away who, even though they've got totally different things going on in their lives (and would probably be justified in dumping a friend who does, in fact, talk about the baby all the time), do their best to keep our friendship alive. Whether it's a trip to the mall or a conversation online with my roommate from school, they all keep me going however they can. I can't think of any way to repay their kindness, except to say that if you ever need me to get YOU out of the house, I'm there. And thanks for everything.

I'm the luckiest mommy in the world!